Friday, August 26, 2011

the coming "Lovacalypse"

On the discussion board for my meetup group at I posted more information about twin flames and soulmates, with important concepts especially for those who have suffered in relationships. It's not a lonely hearts club we're forming after all, but a group that aspires to know and love the divine self, around which the perfect life can form. There are a lot of theories as to what will happen when the chakras open in December 2012, and my precaution is along the lines of the "Lovacalypse". People's hearts are going to open wide to a spectrum of relationships and projects with their soulmates and twin flames, in ways that demand the full incarnation of their soul energy. Not everyone will be in sync or willing to become so tender and vulnerable as to give the yes that the heart requires.

Psychologist Dorothy Tennov estimated from research for her 1979 book "Love and Limerence: The Experience of Being in Love" that 11% of the broken hearted in relationships that end badly attempt suicide. That is a tragic loss of the ones who were willing to feel and try to be present with something more powerful than they could deny. Love has been shallowly defined in our culture as primarily romantic pleasure or parent-child bonding, but what happens when people really deeply feel from their eternal souls the love of serving the Earth together, by all manner of divine assignments that really make the difference to One spiritual planet? Some are going to say no to things they were born to do, and others will take that free-will resistance to their presence as a deep rejection of their very essence. Self-esteem will plummet, and some of the best people will feel so unwanted and isolated they will consider dying. Those on the darker path will consider harming the object of their affections, which is one reason why so many fear opening to being loved in the first place, they don't trust what will be done to them. We need to save more hearts and lives!

Learning to get beyond the existential crisis of unrequited love with deeper tools of self-knowing is a primary skill for becoming the stronger truer self who can be there and endure for the world as it wakes up. It is an angelic quality that we need in order to survive the pain of egos growing up. Think how many times you must have refused the comfort and wisdom of an angel. Karma will require that we revisit many people we have known in past lives who will say no to who we are before we can move on to the ones who are saying yes. The call to honest self-sacrifice is required to give the lost ones that chance to change their minds, and we must not suffer for it nor perpetuate the harm. Suffering is pain that never ends. Pain cannot be avoided on the planet at this time, but by transforming it to love we change reality.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

surviving the twin soul

(end of 2012 Note: this post has turned out to be so pivotal, with many people contacting me about it. I have thus gone back to clarify the terminology a little. Twin soul, twin flame, and soulmate get used different ways by different people, and that's fine as long as we know what kind of relationship each other is referring to. Here then are the definitions that I've settled on, although my older writings may still blur the distinctions. Also, some friends of mine perfectly switch the terms around for the same concepts, which makes it tricky to quote their ideas. For example, Ahtun Re calls a soulmate a twin soul, and a twin soul a soulmate! That's why we have to think about what we mean when we say the words, to hold the vibration and not just sling jargon.

Soulmate = Any significant other soul, probably from many past lives together. We meet them again and again to exchange gifts and hopefully improve the relationship, which could be smooth or rocky in emotions, short or long in duration. If the word "mate" throws you into romantic illusions, think more "crewmate" or "shipmate".

Twin Flame = A parallel soul, someone who has become very compatible by their own evolutionary choices. We may or may not have had many past lives together, but they definitely would be wonderful to meet and work with now. A serious candidate for lifelong mating and partner growth! Just don't forget to respect freewill choices and perceptions, as the human personalities get involved. Even the best twin flame potentials can come and go, at least until a fully conscious shared commitment is attained.

Twin Soul = The one other soul with whom you were originally created by the infinite mother/father God, who creates souls in perfect pairs so they may learn duality in harmony. You and your twin soul will always balance off each other, so that even though you two share values and goals you will represent opposing views and complementary methods. (My friend Walter Semkiw refers to twin souls as dipoles, to emphasize the perfect polarity which must be resolved for better or worse.) When twin soul incarnations meet there is an explosion of self-realization and growth, but any assumptions that this makes you ideal mates or colleagues will be tested and probably prove false. Most twin souls do not and cannot stay together long, which will result in hard feelings only as much as the wholeness and balance within each twin is not cultivated. We are after all each complete divine eternal beings.

And if I just say twin, I'm probably referring to the twin soul, but context should make it clear. Now back to my original post, with terms corrected for consistency according to the above definitions...)

I am relieved to know – definitely not happy, but relieved – that untimely separation from the ultimate mate of the soul (the so-called twin soul, that unique companion of eternity with whom we were made by God) can and will be SURVIVED. Since I opened just last year to the magic and miracles of actually meeting my own twin soul - the embodied twin of my immortal soul, the one my dreams had long foretold and I’d been praying for! - I have wondered a) why there was a deep recurring agony in me of something broken that wasn’t getting healed though it could and should be any day now, and b) how I could ever hope to reach and inspire all these people who seem tragically alienated from the infinite joy of the twin soul experience which I could not cease from recommending and describing.

It turns out that it’s actually very rare for twin souls to meet, and rarer for them to get along, romantically or otherwise; perhaps few were designed to be conventionally coupled, but all are most deeply born to co-create something new and wonderful for the next stage of humanity, when the time is right. The estrangement of twin souls simply cannot be divine, since these original soul comrades, these unique creation partners, are the most visible gift from God that we may ever hope to celebrate and receive as a species. Twin souls are invested with the powers to heal and change the world, as suggested by famed pairs as diverse and incomparable as Magdalene and Jesus, who most brilliantly rekindled the promise of a new human covenant with God (end of 2012 note: I now see that Magdalene and Jesus were twin flames, and Mother Mary and Jesus were the twin souls), Sri Aurobindo and Mirra Alfassa, who taught as an unexpected guru pair that spiritual evolution was now calling for our direct and conscious participation, and Thomas Jefferson and John Adams, who in the midst of unenviable human frailties founded a nation never before seen to lead the future dream.

The current state of sad affairs (so to speak) with separated twins is a symptom of the planet now, which as we all know is in the final stages of the most significant transformation in at least many thousands of years: some would say since Atlantis, others would say ever. And my encounter with the phenomenon of unhappy twins was inevitable given the nature of my soul’s essential service, which is evident from my visionary lifetimes as the mystic Hildegard of Bingen and more, in that I help to lead the manifestation. I point the way to the divine destiny which is beyond the belief and experience of most people currently alive, and my writings get fortunately preserved and only really treasured and vindicated in the centuries that follow. I’m a bit ahead of my time, much to my recurring dismay. You'd think I’d learn and be glad of it, but you can see how it can be a hardship to really know what absolute greatness the human condition is meant to enjoy and as yet has not and shows few signs of ever getting there.

It is vital now that when twin souls meet and one awakens in their heart much more or differently than the other, so that when the near-inevitable separation comes they despair of ever being fit to live again, they not die of their heartbreak but join the company of other souls in a similar predicament. I was blessed by the universe with the return of a great karmic friend, a shaman soul whose experiences so parallel my own, to nurse me from the tragedy of my twin soul not being ready to stay and grow further in my direct and grateful company, despite how much we were both so happy to have met and helped each other activate and change our lives as only twin souls can. There is a kind of purgatory for abandoned twins that is forming now, and it is not so bad, though I will warn that I had to experience a shamanic death to enter it. My heart chakra literally died and was replaced after my twin gave their final notice; I didn’t know this and it’s rare, but chakras can fall off and grow back, as one woman I know had it happen to her third.

Feel free to contact me at returnofhildegard/at/gmail/dot-com if you are in the pains of knowing who is your twin soul and not being welcome there (notice I just spelled that out a bit to stop spammers). It is essential that you receive the support you need to survive. God has not abandoned you, and in fact the future is immeasurably grateful to your sacrifice which shall be rewarded beyond your imagination, though you may rightly not conceive of a life of love again. You will survive and thrive in a whole new way that will change the course of history, for you are strong as God, and your strength is greater than any army or this most potent poison you have swallowed or the beauty of that most singular flower whose fragrance you have inhaled. You were created for this moment which remains breathlessly poised upon the threshold of eternity, and your courage to carry on will see the future dream reborn. You must believe in yourself half as much as all the angels beg you to, for they know of the depths and height of the challenge to which you have been raised. The universe is just beginning now, and you must remember that the pain you will survive is a window for the world. Your soul is in your body now.

Update 1/3/2012: I am understanding the topic better now, along with feeling healed. Because they are born from each other, twin souls are in essence each other's parent and child simultaneously. Their meeting returns each other back to the Source and retrieves each other's soul only as much as each is ready to experience, so a balance of joy isn't guaranteed even if unconsciously a mutual benefit is exchanged that will unfold in time. Free will must be respected here in order to not suffer. And then the individuation will take place, just like children growing up, so twins will part ways naturally. You're ready to explore the world with your activated soul and find your own conscious preferences after reuniting with your twin. I am going to follow now some teachings which distinguish between the twin soul as the one who gave birth to you and you to them, versus the twin flame who is any truly infinite compatible partner (you carry a torch for each other).
    So I was incorrect in my romantic assumption that Mary Magdalene and Jesus were the twin souls, no, they were perfect mates with compatible kundalinis to explore the universe together, better called the flames. Mother Mary and Jesus were the twin souls. I'm not sure about many other examples either, still researching, but I do know one rare twin soul romance was the poets Elizabeth and Robert Browning, and whether they might not still individuate apart in future lives is unknown to me.

Update 5/7/2013: For my latest blog post on this topic, see here:

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Ascension poetry from Jane Ward Leade

...I posted the following in my meetup at If you're in the Boston area, you might want to join, as we're discussing monthly now the secrets of the eternal life of love divine. Don't worry if you can't attend of course, everyone learns sooner or later. :-)

A mystic truly after my own heart (or should I say before?) wrote this over 300 years ago (excerpted from The Heavenly Cloud Now Breaking by Jane Ward Leade)

The Mystic Ladder of Ascension High,
Is fixed for near Communion with the Sky;
Angels Ascending, and Descending free:
Such now shall Mortals be.

Who on Cherubic Wings of Faith and Love,
At will through Earth and Heaven shall freely rove,
Emptying below their upper Springs of Bliss,
And make Earth Paradise.

... you can read more about Jane, here's a good little bio
... and her uncommon writings online
... and even how her meetup used music and dance to commune with the angels

You might say she's the Hildegard von Bingen of 17th century England, and she was born the year that Jakob Boehme died. I love a good history lesson. ;-)

Monday, August 15, 2011

sorry, heaven is taking a little longer...

If people knew what it was costing them, to keep slogging on with their all-too-common distanced approaches to daily living that would seem to fall safely short of what might be called sins, in the comfort of defenses against feeling that appear good for maintaining status quos at the tolerable risks of a little spiritual monotony, which can always be relieved as needed by voyeuristic reactions to the more violent delights in the world than they would themselves sanction but which they seem helpless to cease – if they knew all they were forfeiting to avoid the truly safe lives of eternally unfolding and sharing their soul’s greatest joys with their own immortal beloveds and friends, most of whom remain only half-imagined but never forgotten in the rarest peak moments of that somnabulent thing which they call daily living - then people would realize the hells they had created for themselves and each other, and try anything to change overnight, including feeling more divinely protected, beloved and guided than they ever thought possible. Feeling that limitless depth they would indeed love and change the world overnight.