Since I made a blog and facebook post on the topic, some wonderful people have been emailing me for advice on the concept of twin souls. They are in anguish, or at least confusion, over meeting someone so spiritually significant to them that they wonder if that is their twin soul, and whether it is supposed to work out (because it isn't, ouch!) I truly appreciate everyone who writes me this way, and because I'm so deep in my own process they may or may not get a quick reply depending on when they catch me.
So first of all I want to say to everyone who writes me or considers writing, thank you, because you're absolutely right to focus on such an emotionally and spiritually important issue that you just know and feel the opportunity to be more alive and real from the depths of your own immortal soul! That you take the space to have some response to the experience, and further allow my writing to help validate and focus you, is so beautiful and important to your growth and the health of the whole world. Really, it's that big of a deal! And because it's such a big deal, you do want to find the right response to move your life forward, and not get caught in the kind of under-reactions and over-reactions that have plagued twin souls for eons on this planet (and others as well!). You have a golden lifetime invitation to handle something with a mastery you have not seen before in your journeys of self-realization, and this feeds directly into why you're here after all, in a body on this Earth at this momentous time. You're here to both love and serve, and to help others love and serve by giving them the chance to give those gifts to you, which are even more of what you need and must first give to yourself. This is the reciprocity of the life divine discovering itself, so it is that you are love's only seed, as you prime the pump, and you begin the process.
(for a most wonderful heart-centering refresher, here's The Rose by Bette Midler)
I invite you therefore to express all you need to express from your soul-love experience without getting overly committed to reactions. You can liberate yourself through reflective activities such as art, meditations, talking to yourself or pets or God, and in many forms of journaling. If it helps, you can absolutely write to me as well! Sometimes having the right audience/listener/friend is just what you needed and makes all the difference. Just be sure then to let that energy of your expression and self-attention settle in, so you can re-read what you write, and you can be the one to immediately benefit from feeling more of your own soul showing itself. Then you can edit your letter and/or hit the send button, and you'll be in a good position to observe the energetic effects of putting yourself out there for someone else to see.
I am very very accepting and appreciating of twin soul experiences, so if you feel something really bad from writing me you can rest assured that I'm not thinking such things of you, but rather it's some invalidating voice from your past, or some internalized critic, or some other psychic pressure to intimidate you from finding your truth. A whiplash from being vulnerable may come quickly or over time, especially if the doubts eat at you because I don't visibly reply to your letter right away, which as I said can happen for reasons that are definitely not about you having made a mistake to write me. As a human being, I'm limited in my response-abilities. As a soul, I have many ways to comfort, befriend, and guide, as do we all. You can for example call upon my "past" life as St. Hildegard, which is not only in the past because she is absolutely active in the world energetically today, and doing far more than me as Carl can do from my current situation (trying to run my life, write a book, things like that).
What I'm suggesting here is a general principle for healthy growth, to be self-observing and self-supporting so you can let a reasonable action be done and invite the reality around you to respond as it will. It's a reasonable action to write to me from your heart on the most precious topic of twin souls and soul relationships, because I have spent lifetimes mapping the depths of those energies to hold the space for human beings to realize their best intentions. You deserve to experience being proud and centered in what you say and do, to know and feel that you did something well, so then you'll be prepared to let the world around you go its own way and see what happens next in response to your solid self-esteem. All of life's events, from the most direct and loving that we want to cherish forever as a springboard to future growth, to the most unloving and challenging that we need to master and leave behind as not worth repeating, can then be richly informative for your total growth process.
Does that make sense? This is the attitude and approach we all need to have in life, to release karma and become free, so the universe can lead us to the most directly supportive places for us, which is where we most belong. So for example, if you decide to indeed send me your emotionally urgent letter, you won't take it personally if I respond quickly or slowly depending on when you catch me in my own process, and you'll be able to feel the soul support that I absolutely and immediately have for you energetically. My soul, just like your own, does amazing things that I just catch glimpses of in the magic synchronicities and sensations of life's infinity.
I get a lot of dreams for example of meeting people who feel new to me, and exchanging some words and symbols before moving back into my own psychic territory. I can see the signs that this person was not just an aspect of myself but someone objective in the outer world, and I may not know who exactly for a long time, if ever. That's the collective unconscious at work, and it has a vast light side as well as that tedious dark side that feeds the nightmares of so many people who are afraid of their own growth. Your energy is your own bubble that always protects and guides you, so you will increasingly operate only on the light side as you cleanse your mind through the lessons of a loving life. Of course I also interact with sides of my own soul (such as Hildegard), but there are solid clues for when I am connecting with someone outside of myself, and that is when I often only know that my spirit was helping someone, and in turn they were helping me. After all, in every true exchange of caring and healing, there is growth on both sides. The best healers know how to receive healing when they give healing, to let the lifeforce flow within healthy limits for everyone, and I am always striving to be both student and teacher of the greater universe.
With this attitude then, I offer below something of a composite form-letter I've written to people who arrive asking for comfort and ideas about their soul twin/mate/flame challenges. I'll probably end up sending this verbatim in future replies along with any specific perceptions I get when I read a letter to me. Having this resource handy now will help me to respond more quickly to everyone, including readers of this blog post who wish to benefit more anonymously and energetically. I felt good from writing this and even better explaining it here now, because it's so much more than just an impersonal form letter to me!
Hope that makes sense, and many blessings to us all on this lovely planet we live together on! Thank you Gaia, God and Goddess cocreating in majestic form!
Thank you for your email asking for some guidance with your twin soul experience. I apologize for not replying sooner, but I continue to be very busy making my own progress in this and other areas. Human spiritual growth is certainly intense and complex, isn't it!?
Have you read the two main essays I have posted on the topic?
I completely understand and sympathize with the intensity of the twin soul experience, especially from the point of view of the twin who is more interested in making the relationship work. Although the souls of the twins will always work together unconsciously and psychically, very few twin souls in their conscious human personalities will be both able and willing to stay together in a cooperative loving way. This is because of their nature, that twin souls are always connected in values but always holding an opposite balance for how to live those values. So for example when one is in a more feminine relationship oriented focus, the other is in a more masculine career oriented focus. Of course the masculine and feminine energies of creation belong together and work best united in harmony, but It takes great maturity for the inner balance of each person to make possible a human twin soul pair who is in outer balance. And even then, that outer balance could reveal the twin soul pair were made to be great friends and colleagues, not necessarily romantic. There are many kinds of love after all, as I discuss here: http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=559843474056503&set=a.508660389174812.116965.508632602510924&type=1&theater
The twin soul connection is so amazing and inspiring that many people like to assume it means the ultimate romance, but that is just not true and can cause endless suffering if you try to enforce that relationship. What the twin means is the ultimate reminder of our soul love and mission, which each person then has the free will to avoid, follow or corrupt as they choose. One characteristic of twin souls is just that they define each other and become remembered together, but that connection can take many forms. I only know of one good example of a successful twin soul romantic couple, and that was the 19th century poets Robert and Elizabeth Browning (who did not reincarnate as John Lennon and Yoko Ono even though Lennon and Ono thought they were the Brownings, probably because they wanted to be in that energy). Even the most mature twin souls who might be a couple more often choose to be platonic colleagues in a mission, such as the lifelong spiritual teachers Sri Aurobindo and Mirra Alfassa.
Many other twin souls who accomplish great things together will choose differences of age and gender that disqualify them from romantic relationship, such as Jesus and his mother Mary who were twin souls (Mary Magdalene was a twin flame, to be discussed below). John Adams and Thomas Jefferson were twin souls who were vital to founding the United States together, then they became political enemies and only reconnected later in life (they died within hours of each other on July 4, 1826, now isn't that romantic?). Many famous twin souls can't live with each other and can't live without each other, like Liz Taylor and Richard Burton who dramatically created and loved together intermittently. Other famous twin souls spark only hatred and fear for each other's different sides of life, becoming infamous lifelong enemies who drag many others into their personal feud, such as George Bush Sr. and Saddam Hussein, and George Bush Jr. and Osama Bin Laden. Boy, aren't they going to be surprised and embarrassed in the afterlife!
So you see, the twin soul connection does NOT spell ultimate romance at all, and the New Age is doing you a great disservice to push you to think such things. Many many people are destined to experience their twin soul as some kind of huge ultimate wake-up call to remember divine love and grow spiritually, which is especially needed in today's ascending world. This often results in a brief experiment to be together as a couple that ends rather badly with someone running away, even to the point of one person dying just to force the surviving twin to get on with their newly affected life (which will carry the imprinted soul mission of both twins). So if you can always carry with you even some joyful gratitude from having met your twin, and manage to survive the separation with some hope of finding even more meaning and happiness in your life, then you can count yourself lucky, because that was the goal and too many people can't even open up to that possibility!
If you are suffering from romantic longings for your twin soul who has become unavailable in some way, you must look at your own inner balance of masculine and feminine energies. You must become a more complete and whole being in yourself. Remember, even before you entered all of your realities with your twin and became one of a pair, you were a complete image of the creator mother father God, the generative united God and Goddess partnership. You then chose your twin for the energetic support to enter into manifested lifetimes, even when most of those lifetimes would never meet the twin in body and you would only remain psychically connected. Now if you have met your twin in body and felt that original spark of limitless love only to become stuck and unable to create any further with them, then you must dig deeper into your divine origins and choose to create from more sides of yourself, to build your self-relationship which can then connect with everyone and everything with more love.
There is a concept in Theosophy of the Monad which is even closer to the divine All Source than your human Soul, so In effect you have two levels of your soul. There is the outer soul of your human experiences, and this is where you and God began creating yourself with your twin soul as your creation partner. Then there is the inner soul of your wholeness before you ever became human or entered into any realities, and this is the Monad state to which you must return. From this level you can recreate yourself, reinvent yourself, to begin again without depending on your twin's support of you. Your twin will continue to "haunt" you for a while, as deeper memories and feelings are uncovered where you had built up your soul in relation to them. But if you are willing to go forward and discover more of your self, each revisiting of your twin soul connection will result in a beautiful blessing from their spirit to live on and let them go their own way, for the love of both of you. Remember, there doesn't have to be any shame or mistake in twin souls hitting their limits as creation partners - there is no lasting should have, only lingering could have. With God's help, you each simply did your best to start growing with the right individual before you were fully conscious to know what you were doing, and thus free will meant that even after starting from the perfect divine plan you had that potential to grow apart, individually and together, and thus you did. The universe has fundamental unpredictability, called chaoticity, so only the fully realized consciousness can make a guarantee to work with whatever happens to endure with all good intentions manifested sooner or later, in the flexibility of respect for all other life paths under development.
The fully realized consciousness will thus begin your Monad super-consciousness, from which you can become your own best partner even as you seek a replacement for your twin soul. A divinely appropriate replacement for the twin will be someone so parallel to your growth that together you can consciously maintain the decision to go forward together as twin flames, forever dancing in deliberately paced and matching steps for the joys of synergy, that magic of becoming far more than the sum of parts. Your new soul partner will be more whole and right for you than your twin soul ever was, because they will be able to choose you as creation mate with infinitely more commitment and vision than your pre-conscious twin soul could offer you. To find your twin flame, you can in effect enter a period of dating from your soul, as you meet and evaluate twin flame candidates, and this path will take you far beyond your twin into amazing new growth lessons for how much more love there is to discover between you and the entire universe.
This potential to so deeply reinvent the Self for more freedom to manifest the inner soul is rarely hinted at even in the most esoteric literature, but one reference appears to be in the Michael teachings, a collective channeled entity who since the 1970's has been popular for a soul-based personality system that includes seven soul ages and seven archetypal soul function roles. The Michael system's equivalent of the twin soul is called the "essence twin", and in a "grand cycle" our soul can fundamentally reorganize our relationships to other souls in order to explore creation with a new essence twin and other partner types. I can recommend the Michael teachings for comparing the general terminology to your own experiences, but with some caveats including that for some reason even as Michael likes to get very detailed "he" also encourages many people to channel "him" independently, so there is a quality control issue as different Michael sources will disagree over many specifics including individual soul personality charts.
Ultimately, you will know you are succeeding when your twin soul with whom you first thought and felt you could not live without, becomes more and more like the first teen love of your soul's development, with whom you practiced the skills of soul relationship that you went on to master as an adult. You will always treasure your twin soul memories as foundational to your discovery of who you really are, and at the same time you would never dream of going back to them because you've become so much more than they could ever support and sustain. Any desire for a person who isn't right for you, whether your twin soul or some other projection of an ideal, will naturally fade when you really tune into the energy of your needs and see how much more you can be there for yourself, and by extension, someone else could be who is truly matching with your growth and thus able to share your self-partnering experience in a glorious manifestation of both your souls co-creating skillfully in boundless joy and gratitude.
Think about it, watch what happens in your life as you consider these possibilities, and good luck! You can watch my video lecture on how to be more aware of your own feminine and masculine energies here:
Feel free to write me more if that helps you to organize your thoughts, just be sure to read what you write so you can grow from the space and not be dependent on me replying too quickly, which I may not be able to do. If and when you make significant progress in developing beyond your twin, I am certainly interested in hearing what works for you and how things go.
Carl: returnofhildegard/at/gmail/dot-com (spelled out a little to stop spammers)