As part of the humbling and harnessing that I myself require to serve my community better - the community of souls incarnated in beautiful bodies that so often do not know what greater and glorious plans they are serving until it is too late to not bear some regrets which then call for releasing to the infinite gratitude that is felt in the steps of joyful receiving for our purposeful God-given lives together in this generous and vastly loving fantasia we call the universe - welcome home! – I begin today to share on this blog the lesson themes of the day as I receive them, calling them daily reflections, though how often I’ll find myself aligned to write them daily remains to be seen.
As a boy I remember the movie with Dustin Hoffman called Little Big Man, it was wonderful and haunting. A forerunner to Dances with Wolves and Avatar, the epic saga depicted a white man going native, and the love and sufferings he shared from that decision with the true people of the early Americas. The film is a humbling post-modern experience, mythic and powerful, romanticized and humorous, emotionally devastating. It imparts a taste of the secret history of the soul and those who would go undercover in its many guises to see the world as it truly is. True love and true grieving await the courageous. Dustin Hoffman tells his life story from his death bed; he is old, he is quietly victorious, he is tired, and he remembers.
Sooner or later everyone on this planet we share will awaken to what has always been and what is still meant to be. One by one, pop pop pop. Those who go ahead only do so to make certain that this way is the right way and it is safe for their loved ones to follow. The masters we call ascended are seeking our friendship, they see us clearly as the nascent peers who offer them the opportunity and intimacy of healing and teaching us in our times of need. They do not call for our worship, they call for our openness to receiving their most sincere love from the depths of their being. It’s like the love of the parent who watches so tenderly over the little ones still sleeping in their trundle beds, it’s like the love of the mate who awakens before the dawn to kiss without waking and brush the hair out of the eyes of the one they adore endlessly, it is like the love of the guards who stand at the door to the inner chamber where we are still dreaming together in our great slumber party. Someday we will all see the sunrise together, and we’ll choose our groups and pack our lunches and set off on adventures in this garden universe, the place where the love and exploration of intelligent pleasures and beautiful intelligence go on forever.
It is difficult as we awaken - pop pop pop! - to become the multidimensional divine creatures we always have been. The signs were there, the power is immense. The classic mystical epiphany involves synchronicities and knowings and whispers from the universe that gently place you directly in the center of more power and love than you had ever imagined, but always secretly needed. Not only is there a God, but this God knows you most specifically, always has and always will, and comes to you every day with the most personally of selected gifts. God has planned everything from the beginning of beginnings for your most beautiful unfolding of growth and satisfaction, offering the talents and companions whose perfection make you fall down and weep nearly endlessly with the tenderest of knowing. Oh my God, you loved me so!
From the revelations of your eternal belonging, it is difficult to know who you are anymore, what and where to be. You are a soul of vast power, you are an agent of nature, you are a cosmic beloved, you keep the universe running, you are a guardian angel watching over the ones whom you love more than words can say and yet you must shhhhh let them sleep a bit longer. You want to shout and your voice is still tiny, you want to run and your knees are weak, you want to love the planet when you still don’t know if you can bear to love yourself. There remains wood to chop and water to carry, and the responsibility is both trivial and insufferable, for you have glimpsed upon what simple acts a universe of the most poignant needs and desires revolves.
One time when I was struggling with these kinds of issues – and truly there is great pain and madness potential on the razor’s edge of becoming responsible for eternity – I called upon Archangel Michael for guidance. I heard the words clearly in my head “Go to the level at which you are healed.” So I took a deeper breath, told myself that I am loved by those whose love I require, and that all the great truths I keep inside could be kept safe one more day one more hour, and thus I went to carry a little more water, and chop a little more wood. I wasn’t even very good at it, talk about humbling.
(Metaphorically speaking, I refer to the aphorism “Before enlightenment, chop wood carry water, after enlightenment, chop wood carry water.)
And so we must have the courage to be the Little Big Self. More stuff will come up, it would be easier not to remain small, for the garden feast of the soul remains unmanifest and in the desert we must still wander with the thirst and hunger of more lifetimes than we can yet bear to remember. But the soul knows, the soul knows and thus provides. God gives us not more than we can handle, for one lesson after another, to build up our heavenly bodies and enter the kingdom forever.
As we wake up to the enormous intelligence and perfection of the divine plan and purpose which runs in the blood of us all, the responsibility can be more than we can bear, to stay geared into the cosmic clockworks. The energy is here now, and the potential is there tomorrow, for divine love and beauty beyond the popular conception to become fully tangible and delivered to every human being. Oh my God, the glory of the flowers that humans are meant to become as one who has blossomed ineffably! The pain of not seeing what is felt and known to be real and destined can split and divide our loyalties in ways that perpetuate the suffering, so we must stay humble and aware of the impacts of every decision even after we have been granted the glimpses behind the Wizard of Oz curtain.
We so desperately want to fast-forward to the real heaven that we can skip our own fears and unreadiness, but how very much the universe is trusting us to continue trusting the plan which includes our own needs for healing. We are lent Truths to hold to be the truth holders, so we can ready ourselves for the days when we are called and supported to stand up more visibly and give courage to others. We can build tomorrow’s home today on the rock and not the sand. That journey to tomorrow can be more powerful and humbling and frightening than moving ourselves into the air castles immediately, but at least then we won’t keep getting caught in the cycles of the falling angels we have endured to exhibit over and over. How many limbs have we gone out on and broken. Waking up is one trick, and staying awake to watch over our loved ones is another.
Little Big Self, go to the level at which you are healed. When you function at the right level of power that you can muster, your impact is forever. Chop wood and carry water with your friends, until the day comes to plant trees and stir the oceans.