Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Reflection: The Little Big Self

As part of the humbling and harnessing that I myself require to serve my community better - the community of souls incarnated in beautiful bodies that so often do not know what greater and glorious plans they are serving until it is too late to not bear some regrets which then call for releasing to the infinite gratitude that is felt in the steps of joyful receiving for our purposeful God-given lives together in this generous and vastly loving fantasia we call the universe - welcome home! – I begin today to share on this blog the lesson themes of the day as I receive them, calling them daily reflections, though how often I’ll find myself aligned to write them daily remains to be seen.

As a boy I remember the movie with Dustin Hoffman called Little Big Man, it was wonderful and haunting. A forerunner to Dances with Wolves and Avatar, the epic saga depicted a white man going native, and the love and sufferings he shared from that decision with the true people of the early Americas. The film is a humbling post-modern experience, mythic and powerful, romanticized and humorous, emotionally devastating. It imparts a taste of the secret history of the soul and those who would go undercover in its many guises to see the world as it truly is. True love and true grieving await the courageous. Dustin Hoffman tells his life story from his death bed; he is old, he is quietly victorious, he is tired, and he remembers.

Sooner or later everyone on this planet we share will awaken to what has always been and what is still meant to be. One by one, pop pop pop. Those who go ahead only do so to make certain that this way is the right way and it is safe for their loved ones to follow. The masters we call ascended are seeking our friendship, they see us clearly as the nascent peers who offer them the opportunity and intimacy of healing and teaching us in our times of need. They do not call for our worship, they call for our openness to receiving their most sincere love from the depths of their being. It’s like the love of the parent who watches so tenderly over the little ones still sleeping in their trundle beds, it’s like the love of the mate who awakens before the dawn to kiss without waking and brush the hair out of the eyes of the one they adore endlessly, it is like the love of the guards who stand at the door to the inner chamber where we are still dreaming together in our great slumber party. Someday we will all see the sunrise together, and we’ll choose our groups and pack our lunches and set off on adventures in this garden universe, the place where the love and exploration of intelligent pleasures and beautiful intelligence go on forever.

It is difficult as we awaken - pop pop pop! - to become the multidimensional divine creatures we always have been. The signs were there, the power is immense. The classic mystical epiphany involves synchronicities and knowings and whispers from the universe that gently place you directly in the center of more power and love than you had ever imagined, but always secretly needed. Not only is there a God, but this God knows you most specifically, always has and always will, and comes to you every day with the most personally of selected gifts. God has planned everything from the beginning of beginnings for your most beautiful unfolding of growth and satisfaction, offering the talents and companions whose perfection make you fall down and weep nearly endlessly with the tenderest of knowing. Oh my God, you loved me so!

From the revelations of your eternal belonging, it is difficult to know who you are anymore, what and where to be. You are a soul of vast power, you are an agent of nature, you are a cosmic beloved, you keep the universe running, you are a guardian angel watching over the ones whom you love more than words can say and yet you must shhhhh let them sleep a bit longer. You want to shout and your voice is still tiny, you want to run and your knees are weak, you want to love the planet when you still don’t know if you can bear to love yourself. There remains wood to chop and water to carry, and the responsibility is both trivial and insufferable, for you have glimpsed upon what simple acts a universe of the most poignant needs and desires revolves.

One time when I was struggling with these kinds of issues – and truly there is great pain and madness potential on the razor’s edge of becoming responsible for eternity – I called upon Archangel Michael for guidance. I heard the words clearly in my head “Go to the level at which you are healed.” So I took a deeper breath, told myself that I am loved by those whose love I require, and that all the great truths I keep inside could be kept safe one more day one more hour, and thus I went to carry a little more water, and chop a little more wood. I wasn’t even very good at it, talk about humbling.

(Metaphorically speaking, I refer to the aphorism “Before enlightenment, chop wood carry water, after enlightenment, chop wood carry water.)

And so we must have the courage to be the Little Big Self. More stuff will come up, it would be easier not to remain small, for the garden feast of the soul remains unmanifest and in the desert we must still wander with the thirst and hunger of more lifetimes than we can yet bear to remember. But the soul knows, the soul knows and thus provides. God gives us not more than we can handle, for one lesson after another, to build up our heavenly bodies and enter the kingdom forever.

As we wake up to the enormous intelligence and perfection of the divine plan and purpose which runs in the blood of us all, the responsibility can be more than we can bear, to stay geared into the cosmic clockworks. The energy is here now, and the potential is there tomorrow, for divine love and beauty beyond the popular conception to become fully tangible and delivered to every human being. Oh my God, the glory of the flowers that humans are meant to become as one who has blossomed ineffably! The pain of not seeing what is felt and known to be real and destined can split and divide our loyalties in ways that perpetuate the suffering, so we must stay humble and aware of the impacts of every decision even after we have been granted the glimpses behind the Wizard of Oz curtain.

We so desperately want to fast-forward to the real heaven that we can skip our own fears and unreadiness, but how very much the universe is trusting us to continue trusting the plan which includes our own needs for healing. We are lent Truths to hold to be the truth holders, so we can ready ourselves for the days when we are called and supported to stand up more visibly and give courage to others. We can build tomorrow’s home today on the rock and not the sand. That journey to tomorrow can be more powerful and humbling and frightening than moving ourselves into the air castles immediately, but at least then we won’t keep getting caught in the cycles of the falling angels we have endured to exhibit over and over. How many limbs have we gone out on and broken. Waking up is one trick, and staying awake to watch over our loved ones is another.

Little Big Self, go to the level at which you are healed. When you function at the right level of power that you can muster, your impact is forever. Chop wood and carry water with your friends, until the day comes to plant trees and stir the oceans.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Politics and Right Place for You

This blog has been about raw and deep inspiration toward the new future of love awaiting, and I’m happy with what has come forth thus far. This month something is different and more personal for me, so it’s looking like that is what I have to offer. If this entry doesn’t float your boat, then sail on by all means, though there are sure to be principles demonstrated.

Two soul guides of mine are Hildegard of Bingen and Carolus Linnaeus. You are welcome to look up their names and find out more about them if you don’t know already. It is my personal experiences that they are very close in energy and thus of the same soul family. I’ve never seen this discussed anywhere else, but to me their kindred nature is perfect and obvious. My connection with Hildegard is the most personal of all, so Carolus is like a dear friend to me.

It’s important to hold your personal truths in life. No one has to know from which soul country you hail, through what spectacles you gaze, but your personal truths become the doors through you which go to new vistas. They are the latches you turn, the steps up the stairs, the toeholds up the cliff; pick your metaphor. To go back and undo (doubt) would bring loss and pain, to go forward is to liberate the soul and receive a new more loving life. By holding to a personal truth, your reality is required to align around you as its center, delivering the consequences of to whom and to what you commit, and how must be filled the roles of support that your divine Being requests to become more of your true Self.

You can test a truth to see what it would gain you, it’s like opening a door without stepping through and noticing if your soul becomes more visible (manifest from latent energy). You say to yourself, this is now true, and you open to what you feel hear and see on that platform of self. A burst of spontaneous emotion and inspiration is pretty tell-tale, that this way beckons the future that you know you will always return to wishing for, until you offer God your courage to become it. To be loved is to be changed forever, it is our gift of true self to the divine universe.

September was for me about being done with doubting my connection to Hildegard and Linnaeus, and seeing what would come next. A starseed soul of Pleiadian heritage became my new shoes to fill, which made perfect sense to me. The new personal truth explained so many more of my life’s mysteries in one graceful swoop, as personal truths are wont to do. The questions arose how this would affect my relationships and writing and source of inspiration, and the intensity of the truth called me to answer quickly in many journals and conversations with my spiritual supports. I am already becoming more oriented to the future, and less inclined to repeat past successes or mistakes. Yes even past successes can become limiting, as the child becomes the adult.

A friend emailed to alert me to Catholic church services around Hildegard. It seems that in addition to her feast day being September 17, this month the Pope has been quoting her extensively. At first I was thrilled to have a spotlight on my hero again, but soon sensed the deeper issue. The usage is political, so for the record and to let know those whose personal truths would be assailed, I am writing here, however imperfectly and intuitively and unschooled in the issues I am.

Politics is about consensus for control. Control is a tool, it's useful when there are soul wounding impulses to limit, such as criminal behaviors. Control is a problem when it becomes the means to every end, the sword that people live and die by. Discarnate teacher Lazaris says that there are three techniques for gaining control: get people to not trust themselves, get people to feel guilt, and get people to deny their sexuality. The sexuality is so interesting because it implies to my mind that our bodies hold the unconscious wisdom of attractions that would merge souls. Clearly all three areas have been specialties of religion and religion based cultures for centuries.

The Pope’s church has been scandalized by sex abuses of the innocent for decades if not centuries, and our more valuing culture has brought this darkness to light. A primary church concern is to retain authority and followers, both of which have been severely eroded. Hildegard has become a folk hero far beyond the church’s purview, and they know it. How much her theology has been romanticized and overextended by the new age is a different extreme to be considered. The Catholic church never even officially made Hildegard a saint, so quoting her now as one may be a shortcut to some desired effect.

Basically, in my opinion, the Pope’s message is twofold for concern. First, he's asserting that Hildegard is a good girl because she submitted her visions entirely to church authority. Let this be a lesson, if you have contact with God you should not believe it or talk about it until a church official tells you it’s right or wrong. There are those in the movement to expose the abuse scandal who can claim divine guidance, and the Pope may be suggesting that they are not to be listened to without his approval.

Secondly, Hildegard herself dealt with church corruption during her time by saying we should not change the structure of the church, we should seek repentence and conversion in the clergy. Are we supposed to be inspired by the folk hero who agrees with the Pope to continue business as usual? We all know how loathe the church has been to confess to and remove any pedophile priests, that’s why the pain of the public has been so deep and so lasting. How many souls are too many, to be sacrificed to keep the same people in the wrong kinds of power? One, yours, if you are in complicit agreements with the sins of others.

It is my understanding that Hildegard’s message was not about telling the public to support your church in its current form, now get back to work and trust us. Her message was to the clergy, to look inside yourselves and reform that which is sinful, that which has left mother church tattered in rags. Saying yes to the calls at the time to restructure would have been a distraction and step away from the real confrontation with evil and its corruption. There are two political solutions that must be avoided – one is to say don’t worry we’ll handle it, the other is to say we’re changing everything but the change is surface for entertainment, nothing really changes in function. One is repression/suppression, the other is revolution/catharsis, neither is evolution.

It is my understanding that Hildegard’s work was toward soul communities, the right places for the right people, allowing the flower of the soul to open. Institutions offer roles, and who fills these roles, and who we can become in the company of our beloveds when empowered in the correct roles, these are the revelation, not that there are alternate forms of institutions. Enter the family, the church, the university, the business, the government, the country to which you find yourself by divine fate given opportunity. The personal truths which you hold for the health of your soul make all the difference, determining how you take in the love or invalidation that is offered to you by individuals in the roles as currently assigned by your karma, which is the consequences of your history of truth holding (beliefs create reality).

When you can hold your higher resonance and still function daily, then the universe has to change around you. Saying no to participating in what you must disavow is your moment of truth that overturns reality, but not until. So often people change for the sake of changing, which becomes avoidance of the future that begins now. We can make more real change in place, by the internal reassessment, than by revolutions in structures that were meaningless without us anyway.

Whom do you trust to love you? If you trust someone who is not supporting your growth at its current level, then you will become more distanced from your soul, and you will feel that pain. It will be a mistake to blame the transgressor however, they simply belonged in the role of the limiter, one whom God told you was no longer liberating for you.

When you trust the right spirit to love you, then your life will transform, and you will know whom to run from and whom to run toward at each opportunity. I say spirit because it is sadly possible that there is not manifest love for you in your current reality, but the energy of love will direct you to the open door of the next step to take into the future of your place in heaven. The flower that opens on the smoldering battlefield, for example, or the cloud sailing by that calls to you, or the shaft of sunlight that gives hope of knowing there is more to the world.

Hildegard worked within the church, because she was given to it from the age of 8. She never had a life that most of us could relate to, except to be virgin (untested) souls longing for the daylight of our right place in loving creation. The church was her world, so she had to find, and often fight, her way through it. She wasn’t saying that the roles were perfect. Clearly the lack of women in authority was challenged by her very God-made existence, and that paradox made her uncomfortable. Hers was also an earlier time in the evolution of human consciousness, so it may be considered that human beings are today more capable of becoming each their own church for the sheparding of their own soul. Yes she did seek validation from an institution that she lived within and defended, but she did not say that the human stewardship of that institution wasn’t rotten, and some roles were not in need of reassignments.

If someone tells you that Hildegard’s message was that you should always go through the outside validation of an institution to tell you what to think and believe in your divine connection, or that you should trust that institution to correct any wrongs done to you and thus quiet your soul in its pain and cries for revolution, then you may wish to reconsider. There is a revolution of self that precedes that of the world, and when you are different in your responses then you know you have won and the future is closer than ever. The future is only a metaphor for the spirit unmanifest in the eternal now, which is where the soul knows its community however separated it may have become across time and spaces. The dream of the right souls in the right positions is your right to heaven. Your needs to have validation and support are genuine, but when you find the pain is increasing, you must be willing to reassign. Have compassion for the souls who cause themselves confusion by asking your trust in what is untrustworthy. You decide, you decide, you decide.


PS- now 9/21/2010, i'll add this postscript... I just found out there's a book published since July of this year called "The New Metaphysicals: Spirituality and the American Religious Imagination" by Courtney Bender. There's a fellow named "Eric" in Cambridge Massachusetts who says he experienced being the reincarnation of Hildegard of Bingen. What luck, I should meet him! :-)

topic: reincarnation Hildegard of Bingen reincarnation of Hildegard von Bingen reincarnation Hildegard von Bingen past life Hildegard of Bingen past life Hildegard von Bingen past life