an Easter Sunday renewal of Life!

WANTING FROM WHOLENESS: As human beings we have fantastic opportunities to participate in and contribute to the process of divine creation, but oh what a learning curve we face to know and enjoy our own amazing potentials! We are spiritual beings who can remember perfect origins and imagine perfect destinations, even as we may struggle deep within the current imperfect realities that we inherit and continue from our families of conflict. In comparison, nature seems enviable for so much beauty and balance already attained; flowering plants and agile creatures of spectacular grace have all they require from genetic design to belong and thrive within fertile ecosystems, while we hairless vulnerable apes must push and be pushed to survive in clumsy communities of our own ongoing invention. Our animal needs remain embarrassingly close and tangible, even as our soulful desires reach so poignantly high as to depict heavenly ideals not yet seen on the planet. We ache and yearn so tenderly, so urgently, and each in our own ways, as we dream toward fantastic utopias of abundant love, creativity, productivity, and prosperity, for places where we can share the joys of inspiration and well-being that will unleash a more magical nature. As a people we seem made to want so many things that we do not yet have, and to such points of folly and pain, that many have blamed our capacity to desire itself, saying humanity was wrong to long for more than it had, and we should have never left a garden of simpler times. But I have to say no, because I’m astounded at the diversity of talents and dreams latent in people and closer to the surface than ever. There is no doubt in my mind that the human journey will have been worth it when we have attained our divine mastery here, so we must comfort and guide each other as best we can on the way. Understanding how to want from our souls is a key to making Heaven on Earth, and it always has been and will be.

In the Gospel of Thomas it is written that "If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you." Desires are like this, and they come from our souls. There are dreams that we were born with, things that God and the entire universe have planned for us to have and call our own, but because we are each unique creators in training our dreams cannot be only handed to us. We must be in on the game, we must want enough to choose and believe in ourselves. As we learn to uphold our desires and delight to observe how the process of creation unfolds, we become what we were meant to become, and we discover our love for the design of the ongoing eternally self-fulfilling self. If not, we destroy ourselves in the shame of desires that we cannot stop wanting and yet never have, at least not in any healthy sustainable way. Too many people have made an art of cycling through short-term pleasures that actually oppose their own long-term satisfactions, with dead-end behavior patterns like addiction and manipulation that have given their desires a bad name. Desire is so much more than sexual chemistry for example, yet a host of related terms including attraction, sensuality, arousal, excitation, and passion all get attached to little more than a temporary physical high. Then when people get burned on too many roller coaster rides in the body, they often swing too far in the opposite direction, wanting God and spirit to somehow be impersonal, supernaturally calm, and outside of a too fecund nature. It would be funny if it were not so sad, for how reflexively people have taught themselves to separate Heaven from Earth, and throw the baby out with the bathwater. Theories get made for how creativity sublimates sex for all those creative people who can’t deal with sexuality, when in fact it’s the other way around. Sex sublimates creativity, and the universe is vastly, richly, seductively fertile beyond imagination. You can’t help but desire with abandon more of everything that’s right and good for yourself, as you open up to your very own soul in creation. Rejoining the chorus of infinite celebration will bring you so much bliss and joy from your own synchronistic places of belonging, that you will never want to follow a self-destructive self-abandoning path of aloneness again. Even if repeatedly finding your way back from old habits and falls from grace must become the challenge for a lifetime of healing, sooner or later you will make it Home to having every good thing. You promised yourself this as a soul incarnating for its “last lifetime” on the old Earth, which is really of course just the first lifetime in the new world of love without end.

So the next time you find yourself returning to a dream of desire that you have either proudly or shamefully carried within you for most all of your life, pause to look at how the images of its procurement are making you feel. The wisdom of any true desire is that you cannot want something you do not already have the seeds for, and which you were not made to have more of steadily. You don’t have to work hard to make anything happen to receive your own divine plan and soul inheritance; the way to your fullest joy is full of receiving magical love from the whole universe, which wants nothing more than to see you become more of your true loving self. So if there is a future You who is fully enjoying the best dreams you can have, then the question to answer today is, are you more or less connecting with that future self?

There are two ways to be with your wanting, and one is from wholeness, and the other from lack. All creation is a projection from the present moment of infinite depth, so a future-oriented image of what you need or want to have in your life someday is just a higher octave, a greater extent, a clearer picture, for something that you have available to let in here and now. Your imagined desire is a signal from the future to get on the path now, be alert to what you already have, because this is your destiny starting from your current location. So if a desirable goal brings you pain for how much you want that and yet have no idea how to get there, don’t get caught in the trap of heaven and earth separating. Relax, trust that the future is finding you already, and focus on what’s happening around you right now. Locate your feelings for what you didn’t have, and let the emotional holes become filled until you become whole. It may be hard to believe at first, given how very satisfying the future looks compared to the present which doesn’t have that dream job, relationship, inspiration, opportunity, skill, or whatever else it is you’re wanting so much more of. But the fact is that God is giving you all you need starting now, which is exactly why the desire came to entice you more with its scent. There’s something within your current grasp, a subtle and energetic next step perhaps but concrete in its ability to satisfy you and set you on the path of knowing that everything’s going to be alright and work out. If you can connect 100% with your present moment, then you will become 100% happy and confident, with a bliss that will steadily melt and heal the old wounds so the future will be guaranteed. Always, the present you in your soul center is the one who is functioning at the fullness of your current ability, so that is the giving of 100% that makes all the difference.

This then is the secret to wanting eternally. The old way to want was from pain, from lack, from the stress reaction to get out of a bad place and become happy again. The future was seen as the antidote to the present, starkly different, and this separation consciousness was supposed to motivate us to build and get ahead, but instead it overwhelmed with the need to numb out and disown the self of lost hope. Humanity is burdened with a lot of destructive habits now, for pleasures and escapism which disconnect us from our true future selves. The only real way to want is from wholeness, because then you’re right: that future self you imagine with the dream come true is incredibly happy, and so must you become to get there. Just as the future self is content, so too you can be content in the present if you tune into the fullness available now, and then you will be on your easy self-fulfilling path of the connected continuous self. The way to want sustainably is not about the discontinuity of contrasting future and present, but the continuity of being an eternal soul, here and there, everywhere, balanced and always complete and full.

For too long people have feared that contentment will mean a lack of motivation and consequent stagnation, but this is not so, because that was a false belief bolstered by the false contentment of addictions and numbness to pain (think couch potatoes). The peace of the fulfilled soul is very dynamic, full of growth in the naturally appearing opportunities for ever increasing joy. The secret of life’s abundance is in learning to let it happen, to receive the love that always gives more and thus transforms and grows you from the inside out. Wanting from wholeness is a fantastic fabulous ride, because you are 100% fulfilled every step of the way. Of course then all your future dreams are inevitable and on their way, because they’re more of who you really are as you naturally grow. There is no pain, no anxiety of what must you do to make and ensure the right thing to happen or else you might fail. When you are so busy discovering how good you can already feel as you fully attend to the richness of the present moment, then the unfolding manifesting magnificent presence of eternity is always expanding in all directions and carrying you forward effortlessly. You’ll be amazed at how quickly dreams can come true then, by the letting go of old ill-fitting karmic clothes, and the appearance of miraculous synchronicities of connecting what you’re ready for, with what roles other people have been looking to fill with someone as wonderful as you! A symphony of delight soars heavenward faster than you can say “boo”, or better yet “thank you”, as you learn to trust and not fear the effervescent way of love’s miracles. After all, boundless gratitude for what you and the universe can create together in love has always been one of the greatest hallmarks of who and what you truly are! Love in the flesh, joy in the form, your own uniquely rich, generous, and beloved identity of the All-loving mother father God who creates without end for the eternal wonder of the greatness of Life.

- Carl J. Schroeder, Easter Sunday March 31, 2013

http://www.facebook.com/HowToMakeHeavenOnEarth

“The wisdom of desire is that you can only want more of what you already have. Therefore find and enter your best moments today, to grow the seeds of your perfect foreseen tomorrows.”

(my photo of a common and so uncommonly beautiful barn owl at the local Stone Zoo - taken with my children on Holy Saturday, the day before Easter when Jesus lay in the tomb like the phoenix before resurrection - and the phrase that came to me that evening to crystallize my awareness of a healing reconnection I was being given to rise again from the ashes of another lost love. The wisdom of this magnificent animal came to me in the form of its flying regularly about its enclosure as birds flew overhead in the sky, their shadows crossing in a flock that must have reminded the owl of its lack of freedom to be on exhibit for us. As I felt the presence of a greater power and remembered Athena whose symbol is the owl, the eerily faced creature came to roost and stare at me, so I could lean forward and take some pictures through the gaps in the fence. This week had been a return of Orphic mysteries to me, as the myth of Orpheus has resonated with me all my life, and recent looking back to the past caused yet another hopeful Eurydice to vanish into the underworld. Well, I don’t mean to become too mythic or esoteric here, only to say that the way that this owl flew around its cage to match the freer flight of birds overhead seemed to set the stage for a breakthrough of understanding for how to attain my own dreams of desire. Find and feel a connection to your destiny now, and you will be on your way to that timeless place of soul wisdom from which all good dreams are fulfilled in the steps that make the most of what we have to work with, now and forever. Thank you God, for helping me feel more alive.)

A New Creation

Happy Lady Day! For more heartfelt explanations of that, see this blog's entries for 2011 March 25 and Easter. But today we get more heady with my latest entry from HowToMakeHeavenOnEarth.org repeated below...



ORIGINS: Astrophysics is providing one of the great lenses on the universe both physical and metaphysical, as it combines unimaginably far star gazing with unbelievably detailed knowledge gained from observing how things work here on Earth. Recent developments have proven very exciting, as the world’s largest atom smasher has at last found the Higgs Boson - that so-called God particle which condenses for a micro-instant out of the mysterious Higg’s field that permeates everything and gives all matter its characteristic mass and therefore existence. Higgs theory will then feed into astronomy’s latest coup with its release of the infant universe’s best clearest baby picture yet, a microwave heat map showing the curious “lumpiness” which occurred shortly after the Big Bang sprayed spontaneously arising matter and anti-matter apart so fast that it wouldn’t all just disappear again, nearly 14 billion years ago. We owe our lives to these uneven distribution spots, seen as blue for cooler and red for hotter in the oval image now popular in headlines, because the lumps seeded the gravitational effects that pulled together the galaxies and stars which gave birth to our bodies. The overall picture is now so consistent with the theory of inflation that says, logically or not, everything once exploded out of nothing, that I had to laugh at the celebration of scientists for at least agreeing on how much they can’t explain. It’s like going to a museum with a bunch of friends to admire a famous artwork, and the painting is unfortunately covered for repairs, but you’re all just so delighted to study the frame, to agree on its length, width, and sturdiness, that you actually have more fun speculating what kind of canvas it could hold than missing the picture itself. As big as is the observable material universe, less than 5% of it is ordinary matter, 27% is a missing so-called dark matter known only by its gravitational effects (whatever it is, we wouldn’t be here without it), and 68% is a missing so-called dark energy, whose anti-gravitational force keeps spreading space itself apart to this day. See what I mean? So the vast majority of infinity is still completely unknown, even if we have nailed down some numbers for the size of that unknown. Half-baked metaphors for things we can’t understand will continue to drive the kind of hand-waving and psycho-spiritual philosophizing that is the bane of hard science for many more years to come, but the hard scientists can’t complain since they have little better to offer than measurements for the gaps in their own comprehension.

As a mystic I certainly don’t have all the answers either, but I do like to follow the clues and feel the integrated effects of cosmic theories on daily living. From my holistic perspective, the universe is in a state of continual resolution into existence, as the explosive soul-searching questions of self-awareness (Why?! How?! With whom?!) are perpetually reborn within us in cycles that drive our outward expansion of choices for life explorations. 14 billion years ago is happening inside us right now, from the pure center of soul which resonates with that which it first created on the outside. Find what speaks your truth in the world and follow it, as far as remains true for you in your ongoing needs to evaluate and assess your own progress in life. The inflationary model of the universe’s origins says that every point is as much the center as any other, much like a balloon expanding with all its surface points growing. So yes, the world does revolve around you, you’re as special as everyone else in your reality. You come from the Creator inside of you just like everybody else, so the universe holds the path that points back to you. Your thoughts and feelings have impact more than you may ever know, and your beliefs and theories on life are actively shaping and filtering what will be possible tomorrow. Your powers to change what you choose, to align with worldviews and philosophies, to act from your own adopted and evolving explanations for how and why things are happening just as they do and for whose benefits, have God-like implications for your role in the world. As your awareness grows for what you can do and comprehend, so does the pace at which you can design the future destiny. The dinosaurs unquestionably ruled this planet for millions of years, huge beasts of nature’s forays into might making right. A few scurrying mammals outlived them and evolved into the thinking questioning planning humans who could change the world like nobody’s business in a matter of just a few thousand years. The pace of the change we make possible keeps accelerating, even as we fail to fully understand what is this stuff of existence with which we are playing and out of which we are made. And that’s okay, our ignorance is acceptable and perhaps even necessary, so long as we love. It’s love’s job to keep all things fitting together with care, with increasing capacities for attention to detail.

One of the ways that future dreamers like to use the new physics is to apply the strange quantum effects of the sub-microscopic realm to the macroscopic world where miracles may be called for, but nobody said the metaphorical extensions of such wishful thinking would be necessarily valid or sane. Non-locality (particles can have entangled fates so they instantly effect each other across any distance) gets tapped to explain telepathy and synchronicity, uncertainty (particles can be in multiple states until the observer’s observations button them down) might explain the success of far-out experiments that the skeptics can’t scientifically reproduce, and quantum foam (a level of the universe at which matter can come in and out of existence with space-bending effects) would seem to suggest possibilities for instant manifestation, but nobody really knows beyond what they can actually experience. Myself, I got excited with the talk of string theory some years ago and an additional eight or so dimensions curled up somehow within us right now, for entire alternate universes microscopically implanted alongside our present locations. Oooh, teleportation, inter-dimensional shifting, with minimal effort, if I could only learn how! But seriously, we’re straining our brains with physical analogies that could be completely invalid, to get to places that I for one still don’t know how to reach. I had to dig deeper than the popular press to find out why additional dimensions were even being considered in string theory. As I recall, it’s because one of the fundamental four forces of nature that is so strong between atoms and so weak at greater distances, is dropping off in power so much faster than the usual inverse square law that additional dimensions might explain where the force is going. It would be like if we stepped away from a light bulb and expected the light to grow steadily dimmer, only it far more quickly went dark. What happened, did the light leak into another universe? That’s what it seems like, but everyone’s still really just guessing for what might be going on. Given that 95% of the universe can’t even yet be observed much less explained by our present minds (27% dark matter plus 68% dark energy) it seems just as foolish for the miracle workers to think that modern science bolsters their case for omnipotence, as for the hard scientists to dismiss all hand wavers as quacks, fantasists, and (shudder) religious fundamentalists.

There is in fact a basic problem I see to all of this worldly thinking, which might explain not only many of the weirder material effects in physics, but also the popular recurring dreams for a liberating transcendence of the known universe. There’s a materialist assumption pervading everyone’s thinking, and mystics who say the world is an illusion don’t necessarily respect the fears they raise by suggesting that objects aren’t secure and reliable. The world is a very useful illusion, and it is perfectly sustainable and reliable for those who use it to love. The only caveat is that when concrete objects and physical laws are in the way of love, then indeed they are flexible and soluble in ways that defy the old logic. Don’t be scared. Don’t give up your power, don’t say anything or nothing is possible, don’t wait for God or science to do your life for you. Just keep to the love and living an expanded awareness of what it means to be alive in a divinely aware universe. God cares, so can you.

Physics already tells us that anything can be treated as a particle or a wave, depending on which approach is more useful in a situation. The equations doesn’t have to make intuitive sense, they just work; science is eminently pragmatic this way. Light is both a particle and wave, and so are you. All of our current metaphors and explanations for the universe depend on objects, with waves usually being conceived as the patterns of moving objects: a wave of water, of air to make sound, of photons to make light. Some people get excited to imagine that quantum effects might mean deep down all physical objects are convertible into energy that can be moved around and shape-shifted miraculously - but then too it gets scary to imagine what keeps such a fluid system from going out of control. When the Large Hadron Collider was being readied in Switzerland to find the Higg’s Boson, there was a real fear that recreating the conditions of the Big Bang could destabilize current physical laws and destroy the planet. Physicists scoffed but they didn’t really know. Fortunately we’re still here, and the God Particle has been found. Now the latest twist is that the energy of the Higg’s Boson has been pegged to a value which includes the mathematical possibility of a tunneling effect in space-time which will instantly vaporize the universe someday, returning everything to undifferentiated energetic soup. Again, nobody really knows. So time and again the message seems to be that you can count on your universe being there for you, so you can live work and play with the ones that you love. But don’t think that this world is so real and solid that greater forces aren’t holding it together for you. The universe is a gift, given to you. God is real and God cares, that’s the true miracle.

So the concept I would propose is that people need to think in terms of mediumless waves, which are the real and stable source of existence. Objects are not the carriers of waves, rather, pure waveforms which exist everywhere at once are the carriers of objects, which get temporarily distilled by our senses out of the eternal wave functions. The worlds of matter are cyclic and ephemeral, because these are the masculine manifestations which express missions of purpose – beneficial processes complete with beginnings and conclusions – for the love of the constant divine feminine source. A mediumless wave is like the archetypes or Platonic ideals from which all the instances of particular life situations get pulled and drawn, and to which they must return to make any sense. There is a realm of pure numbers and eternal relationships from which we originally come and to which we return after we work through our space-time playgrounds and tinker toy sets in the exercises of remembering and illustrating who we really are, were, and always shall be.

To have limited boundaries - to think I am here and you are there and for only so long - are working perceptions that locate universal wave functions into distinguishable bodies so we can focus on our personal choices and identities together in loving adventures. All those bizarre quantum effects like non-locality and parallel realities collapsing at the point of observation are actually quite normal and expectable; it’s the world of finite objects where people think miracles can’t happen for love that is really quite strange and contrived. People’s physical insecurities and astonishments come from putting the cart before the horse, from thinking that somehow all the transitory things of life are what is real and solid, while the abstract realms that get suggested and symbolized by material forms are somehow fleeting and unpredictable. The truth is quite the reverse, because the manifest God relies upon the unmanifest Goddess continually for regeneration into perfect forms from which to grow, learn, and love. The first identifiable objects of the mediumless waves behind everything are in fact our own souls, because each of us is a unique collection of resonant frequencies balanced to benefit all of creation, a fingerprint of unlimited potentials in essential services, a lovely and quirky individual personality of God that ready to be present and contribute to the growth of life at every point where it may precipitate out of the omniscient omnipresent energy of divine loving awareness. How do you think the angels can be everywhere they are needed, and the deities can help everyone simultaneously who calls on their assistance? There are no limits save love for those who have mastered time and space, because our nature is already to be the mediumless wave which is present at every possible point, ready to serve, share, and play joyfully with those who observe their own needs and desires to become more divine.

- Carl J. Schroeder, Monday March 25, 2013

http://www.facebook.com/HowToMakeHeavenOnEarth

“Remember, the Universe is still being created, by You!”

(my collage which sets on a background of the Pleiades star cluster the latest heat photograph of the universe when it was just 370,000 years old. The all-sky view was compiled from 7 years of microwave data taken by NASA's Wilkinson Microwave Anisotropy Probe (WMAP), a spacecraft that scans radiation left over from the Big Bang. I’m partial to the Pleiades as one of my spiritual homes, since I relate to being what is called a starseed, that is a soul which did most of its growth on another planet before coming to Earth in order to assist from an objective memory of our ultimate human potentials here. Starseeds make great loyal wise friends but can be a little lonely, since they tend to not get stuck in the usual dramas and work through Earth challenges a bit too quickly and eccentrically for most people to comfortably understand them. Starseeds do well to own up to their differentness and stick together; don’t worry, it won’t make you love the Earth and your soulmates here any less, in fact you’ll be in a better position to make this the paradise you came here to help create for everyone’s benefit!)

Congrats Kerry/Jackson!

Congratulations to John Kerry our new Secretary of State, who was this week easily confirmed across party lines and widely applauded after 28 years of serving Massachusetts superbly in the US senate! Here's a very interesting article, his last local interview as senator, as he gets to reminisce and chat in ways that he rarely has time for. He talks about how he's matured over the years, having no regrets for his initial rash entry into politics to oppose the Vietnam war in which he served. Kerry hints at how much he's accomplished since then that no one even knows, including being so proud of his "finest legislation" which is on climate change and remains to be passed, if ever.

Kerry also laments modern politics, which he interestingly says suffers from the hyperconnectedness of social media. Politicians are actually too focused now on continual constituency feedback and arms-length electronic communication, so that face to face negotiating skills are weak and everyone hardens into their positions. I can imagine his point - backroom dealmaking didn't have to be a bad thing, it got things done and could just as well be for social good, such as the 13 Amendment which took a lot of inside politics to achieve as seen in the new movie "Lincoln". It used to be that politicians got elected and then could focus on their agendas, which depended on the character of the person of course. More political accountability was needed for sure, but now it's so rampant and shallow that nobody wants to do or say anything that might get tweeted and blogged instantly, go viral on youtube and facebook, and tank their career. Human beings have to take risks to evolve their thinking when they must live together. Could distance hypermedia actually have a negative effect on responsibility by never letting up the pressure to please the home party, while never really bringing opposing views into close proximity? It's too easy to praise or insult by email, much harder when actually in the same room with someone. How much do you use the internet to find enough people to agree with you that you feel safe to dismiss and ignore those who don't?

btw it appears that John Kerry is the reincarnation of Andrew Jackson, 7th President to the United States and the guy on the 20 dollar bill. Just look at that face, you'd recognize the long features and chin and big brow anywhere! And there are very similar life narratives of being a war hero who is both profoundly patriotic and willing to question authority in ways that the pedants successfully punish, but in the end he is widely understood to be a great leader of integrity and intelligence. Rachel Jackson is also Teresa Heinz, so there's a returning love story of mutual admiration and support here. I just love it when souls make themselves knowable, don't you?!

How To Make Heaven On Earth

I'm so excited about my fantastic new facebook page of daily inspirations called "How to Make Heaven on Earth!" I suddenly got the vision to start it on January 12, and soon realized how much I was committing myself to. It's turning out to be a lot of work but the energy keeps coming, I just love the balance of image and word that then opens up into a wonderful format for deep channeled messages. I've had dreams about how important this is as a structure for people to visit from all over the world, like a gallery of spiritual art exhibits made from a combination of pop art, religious icons, and crystals. So please Like it and spread the word, thanks!

Here's last night's message to start the new month courageously:

COURAGE: There is none among us who can say that all of what life has brought to our embrace is exactly what we expected, preferred, or even asked for. Yet the ability to make that embrace, to accept what is and transform it with our bold presence and love into the very best that we can imagine, often becomes the mark of our greatest skill, the essence of our courage and beauty as human beings to not only survive but thrive in this world and beyond. How is it that the challenge to face what we have not envisioned, when visioning is our deep will and strength, can be such a source of growth input for us?

It turns out that how we live whatever we live is where our power and uniqueness as a child of the infinite spirit begins. As the old saying goes, it’s not what you have in life, it’s what you do with it. The initiating Goddess principle dwells in that magic which can truly accept and care for whatever life brings, not from any weakness of will to assert the self, but rather from the primordial authority to call forth that which needs love. God then becomes the companion energy which gives us only as much as we will be able to handle, so *trust*, and so learn to love and become divine in the presence of. It is not that God wishes us struggle, as we struggle in life’s complications. It is rather that our mastery of living and loving will be ensured when we trust ourselves enough, holding that confidence of focus, to find the gift of our growth from every situation and relationship, regardless of how difficult and ill-planned they may become. We will learn what to say no to and what to say yes, when we are first willing to say maybe and try. Being human becomes practically defined then by our capacity to live with mistakes, not because the mistakes were so great, but because of the incredible souls we become when we transform those mistakes into jewels in the crown of our humanity. There’s no mistaking the energy of redemption, as we weep with humility and inspiration to hear the stories of those who bore terrible hardships, things we would wish on no one, only to find the transcendent grace within themselves to forgive, to love, to persevere, to overcome all limitations, to succeed beyond wildest expectations, to bestow upon us all the new possibilities for lives full of miracles, and to forever reveal what it means to be a great human soul.

I remember in my twenties when the pure hope and ideals of my youth began to crumble and fade for the last time into the long road ahead, so rocky with apparent misfortunes, competitive dreams and blind luck. There’s a weight that threatens to crush the soul, as it gathers in the parental voices from which we ran just a few years before, only now to be forced to adopt as our own to get by. The voices that call themselves realistic and looking out for our best interests say such things as “What did you expect? This is life, get used to it! Get to work and take what you get, that’s all anyone ever does. If you had more money or love or whatever you want, you’d just be wanting something else still, so don’t let me hear you cry or complain.” But I did sometimes still cry and complain, and I managed to keep my inner child’s magic alive on breadcrumbs of faith and hope, as the roller coaster of life looked upward at times, and for a while might appear to have arrived at the level of happily-ever-after. But then the ride would go down again, all too often with breathtaking speed. And so I recall one day in particular when the choice became clear. I felt on one hand all the prescriptions for the ideal that I could concoct in my best wishful mind - if I just did this and this and this, then surely it would all turn out great, and I would win in this game of life. On the other hand I saw that I could never do all that stuff, and daily life was wearing me down just to keep up the basics. Blind optimism wrestled ardent pessimism, until rather than try yet again or accept defeat, I chose a new middle way. I heard myself say with a new sense of guidance, the ideal is real and it’s in my soul to want both, so if this life is ever going to work then it has to be from the way it is here and now. I’ve got to be me, warts and beauty and all, and in that experience I will never give up on my dreams, nor will I submit to fantasy. The most fantastic course of all has to be having and loving it all, I would not be born to want this if it were not possible. Heaven has got to be merged with the Earth.

Since then, life has never ceased to be both hard and full of miracles. I have learned to embrace life for the lessons in hope that it holds, starting from deep within the many rich cycles of emotional fulfillments and disappointments that come with daily change. I keep on embracing, even when embrace hurts, and the things I have seen and understood are unbelievably good. I have known God in the ways that transform the heart, and yearned to stay in places that I could not but to which I will always return. The future is so bright that I can say rest assured, the way of spirit in matter works.

- Carl J. Schroeder, Thursday Jan. 31, 2013

http://www.facebook.com/HowToMakeHeavenOnEarth

When life presents a challenge, say
"On my way not in my way!"

(photo "Contemplate" by Evgeni Dinev courtesy freedigitalphotos.net, slogan my own that comforts me to go into whatever life brings)

Three Wild Horses

The following is a parable for the three ways of dealing with new energies - to be overly dominating, to be overly permissive, or to have mastery. And there is something eerily real about the story's time for me, which is late 1700's to early 1800's I'd say. The story came to me just yesterday morning in a flash of weeping and rememberances for my Native American lifetimes in which I practiced the storytelling arts to heal and guide, and perhaps needless to say I am still learning the lessons of which it speaks. Thank you Great Spirit for this and many things.


The Story of the Three Wild Horses

In the time after the Spanish brought the first horses to the Americas and before white men killed too many of the buffalo, there were three native brothers who had grown to manhood in their tribe. Their parents had died from sickness long ago so they were raised by their grandmother, who was respected for her wisdom but had no horses to give to her grandsons for power or prestige. At this time horses were owned by individuals and there were not enough to go around, so they made all the difference to a family’s success. And so the brothers faced their futures with uncertainty, for each had great ambitions but did not know what to do to earn respect among their peers.

One day the three brothers went to their grandmother for advice. The youngest brother who was hot-tempered in nature said crossly “Grandmother, I wish to become a great warrior, but I have no horse to ride into battle, what am I to do?” And the middle brother who was gentle in nature said “Grandmother, I wish to become a loving husband and father, but I have no horse to attract a mate, what am I to do?” And the eldest brother who was visionary in nature said “Grandmother, I thank you for all that you have taught me, but still I need a horse for the tribe to listen to my words, what am I to do?”

The old woman sighed and said to her grandsons, “Come, let us make offerings to the Great Spirit and pray for a dream tonite that you may each be guided what to do.” And so they made offerings of sweet herbs and prayed around the campfire long into the night until at last they fell asleep.

In the morning the three brothers awoke to tell their dreams to the wise old woman. The youngest said, “Oh grandmother, I dreamt that a mighty black steed with eyes of fire was waiting to be mine!” And the middle said, “Oh grandmother, I dreamt that I received a white horse so beautiful that I would have my choice of bride!” And the eldest said “Oh grandmother, I dreamt that Great Spirit said we are each to go alone into the wilderness to find the horse that is our own!” And the old woman smiled and nodded for it to be so. She packed each grandson with provisions, and each set off in a different direction to meet their destinies.

The youngest brother came to a canyon where he spied a wild black steed with eyes of fire, just as he had seen in his dream. He cried out with victory and chased the horse into a narrow gully with high walls, where the wild horse became trapped and furious. The brother set up camp at the entrance and proceeded to break the horse’s will to be his own. The horse fought back but the brother won in the end, so at last he rode the powerful creature back into the tribe. There he was greeted by his peers who were impressed with the Great Spirit’s gift of such a terrifying horse. The brother was quickly invited into the war parties where he soon made a name for himself as undefeatable in battle and able to lead the raids to steal many needed horses.

The middle brother met the white horse of his dreams upon the plains, where the animal approached the brother with curiosity. The brother’s gentleness and soothing words of admiration caused the wild horse to come so close that the brother dared to leap upon its back. But thereupon the horse rose up and threw the brother to the ground, where he lay with his leg badly broken. The brother pleaded to the horse for help, and miraculously the horse allowed the brother to climb upon it and be carried back toward the village. The brother was met by a group of young maidens, who so admired the beautiful horse and its new owner that they took turns caring for the brother’s leg until it would be healed, and competed among themselves to be chosen as his bride.

The eldest brother traveled further than the others, until he came to a forest lake in the shadow of a mountain. There he saw a mighty wild horse of reddish brown and spotted white drinking at the shore, so he hid himself to observe. For days he watched the splendid creature come and go to its favorite place to drink and rest. The brother made a camp downwind so as to not alert the animal, and prayed to the Great Spirit for how to make the horse his own. The brother received dreams to guide him in understanding the horse’s wild energies, so he could gradually approach the animal and communicate his intentions to become its fair and proper master. The horse at first protested but in time came to trust the brother, until at last the two could ride back as one into the village. There they were met by the medicine man who said Great Spirit told me you were coming to be my apprentice now, and the brother was glad and gave many thanks.

In the years that followed, the grandmother watched as her three grandsons each explored their own paths of choice and fate. The youngest brother won many battles for horses for the tribe, and in gratitude was given by the chief his proud daughter’s hand in marriage. Outwardly the couple was celebrated and appeared happy, but privately the girl proved to be demanding and even cruel. When she could not produce a child, she used her father’s favor to forbid her husband to find another bride, and to instead order him to steal not only horses but also children for her from his war parties. This earned the brother an extra wrath from neighboring tribes, who sent spies to find and kill him. The brother and his amazing horse could not outrun every attempt upon his life, and one day they were found dead with many arrows piercing their hides.

The middle brother chose the loveliest girl who nursed him back to health to be his bride. Unfortunately, his leg never fully healed, so he became lame and dependent on his white horse to carry him on buffalo hunts to provide for his growing family. The horse remained temperamental and unreliable, which tested the patience of the loving brother. Over time the brother became so frustrated that he would lash out, but only at his wife and never to the horse who was his real problem. He feared angering the animal who was after all a magical gift of the Great Spirit to whom he owed his life. The gentle wife became increasingly unhappy, both with her husband for his treatment of her and the horse which had remained so wild that the brother’s buffalo hunts often failed and the children went hungry. Everyone in the village pitied the suffering family, but no one dared intervene for fear of crossing the will of the Great Spirit who had sent the strange white horse to create such a fate.

The eldest brother studied under the medicine man to become his successor and a powerful shaman for the tribe. His medicine animal was the horse, of course, which gave him the power to know which way the future was headed and how to work with the energies of change. When his youngest brother was killed for having warred upon so many other tribes, the eldest brother was able to broker a peace between the chiefs, return the stolen children, and even find a suitable remarriage for his brother’s widow, the chief’s jealous daughter. When the eldest brother saw the misery of his middle brother, he whispered to the white horse and taught the middle brother to at last properly respect and tame the wild animal, thus bringing peace to the entire family. When the eldest brother saw the women of his tribe both admire and fear his powers as the medicine man, he balanced his internal energies so that he might tame his own desires as a man and become the fair and equal friend to all.

In time, the eldest brother’s red and white spotted horse carried him on peacemaking missions to further and further tribes, until he became known to a medicine woman who was his true equal and peer. Together they foresaw the coming of the end of the buffalo, of the massacres and demise of the native way of life. When none would believe them in their time that white men could or would one day kill the mighty herds of millions of bison whose stampedes perfectly tilled the prairies unlike the white man’s overgrazing cows, the two shamans retired to that peaceful lake in the shadow of the mountain where the Great Spirit’s gift horse had first been found. In love and wisdom the couple worked quietly together to lay the seeds for a future time in which all would be healed once again upon the mighty land. They made rituals and prayers to the Great Spirit, Mother Earth, and Father Sky, called on the ancestors and future generations, and held conferences with the nature spirits, light beings, and star people to agree for when to intervene and when to allow imbalances to run their course.

May Love Bless You

Please enjoy my first youtube music video! "May Love Bless You" is a heartbeat chant and round to inspire you into the New Year and beyond. I first sang this at the Mystical Art and Talent Show last October, and you will see an image from the curtain call as well as many other scenes from my mystical photo collection. I hope you like my video - someone claiming to be the reincarnation of Hildegard of Bingen ought to have some music to offer and so I do, though I'm not as talented as her, and frankly most of my past lives are not known for making music at all. My soul is a theologian, a mystic poet and cheerleader for the sacred heart of humankind. Go Earthlings go, yayyyy Gaia! :)

Christmas Message 2012

Merry Christmas beautiful world!

In my religious heritage, Christmas is the time for the savior's birth, the baby Jesus who calls forth the divine human awakening within us all. As Meister Eckhart, Dominican monk of 14th century Germany, so beautifully put the challenge before us always now:

We are all meant to be mothers of God. What good is it to me if this eternal birth of the divine Son takes place unceasingly but does not take place within myself? And what good is it to me if Mary is full of grace if I am not also full of grace? What good is it to me for the Creator to give birth to his Son if I also do not give birth to him in my time and my culture? This, then, is the fullness of time. When the Son of God is begotten in us.

I'm joyful therefore to announce my Christmas creation, my gift to my self and the universe and you. This is it, oh my God dear friends, this feels to be my breakthrough youtube video lecture on the return of the divine feminine which finally gets my energies out into the world at the level that I have been working for all of my life. Everything went so smoothly, so magically in its production, and what you will see is the very first and only take. I am so incredibly grateful to the universe, for I have always dreamed of being the spiritual inspiration teacher again, but it's hard when you don't know who you are, what to say, and what to do. But now at the age of 49 I'm here, knowing it, saying it, doing it, and practicing more gratitude and love with each passing day of confidence in help and miracles.

Thank you for being my friend and believing in me, because I have truly always wanted nothing more than to be your friend and believe in you. I love humanity, and first we must find and love the humanity inside of ourselves to shine. You will shine, you will grow, trust me. You too are a drop of the precious ocean, a seed of divine love. May God and Goddess bless you forever more, and very best holiday wishes to your own projects of dreams, destiny, and desires to become the immortal loving soul of holy perfection that you truly are.

Hildegard of Bingen Christmas message 2012