Tuesday, May 7, 2013

latest advice on twin souls

Since I made a blog and facebook post on the topic, some wonderful people have been emailing me for advice on the concept of twin souls. They are in anguish, or at least confusion, over meeting someone so spiritually significant to them that they wonder if that is their twin soul, and whether it is supposed to work out (because it isn't, ouch!) I truly appreciate everyone who writes me this way, and because I'm so deep in my own process they may or may not get a quick reply depending on when they catch me.

So first of all I want to say to everyone who writes me or considers writing, thank you, because you're absolutely right to focus on such an emotionally and spiritually important issue that you just know and feel the opportunity to be more alive and real from the depths of your own immortal soul! That you take the space to have some response to the experience, and further allow my writing to help validate and focus you, is so beautiful and important to your growth and the health of the whole world. Really, it's that big of a deal! And because it's such a big deal, you do want to find the right response to move your life forward, and not get caught in the kind of under-reactions and over-reactions that have plagued twin souls for eons on this planet (and others as well!). You have a golden lifetime invitation to handle something with a mastery you have not seen before in your journeys of self-realization, and this feeds directly into why you're here after all, in a body on this Earth at this momentous time. You're here to both love and serve, and to help others love and serve by giving them the chance to give those gifts to you, which are even more of what you need and must first give to yourself. This is the reciprocity of the life divine discovering itself, so it is that you are love's only seed, as you prime the pump, and you begin the process.

(for a most wonderful heart-centering refresher, here's The Rose by Bette Midler)

I invite you therefore to express all you need to express from your soul-love experience without getting overly committed to reactions. You can liberate yourself through reflective activities such as art, meditations, talking to yourself or pets or God, and in many forms of journaling. If it helps, you can absolutely write to me as well! Sometimes having the right audience/listener/friend is just what you needed and makes all the difference. Just be sure then to let that energy of your expression and self-attention settle in, so you can re-read what you write, and you can be the one to immediately benefit from feeling more of your own soul showing itself. Then you can edit your letter and/or hit the send button, and you'll be in a good position to observe the energetic effects of putting yourself out there for someone else to see.

I am very very accepting and appreciating of twin soul experiences, so if you feel something really bad from writing me you can rest assured that I'm not thinking such things of you, but rather it's some invalidating voice from your past, or some internalized critic, or some other psychic pressure to intimidate you from finding your truth. A whiplash from being vulnerable may come quickly or over time, especially if the doubts eat at you because I don't visibly reply to your letter right away, which as I said can happen for reasons that are definitely not about you having made a mistake to write me. As a human being, I'm limited in my response-abilities. As a soul, I have many ways to comfort, befriend, and guide, as do we all. You can for example call upon my "past" life as St. Hildegard, which is not only in the past because she is absolutely active in the world energetically today, and doing far more than me as Carl can do from my current situation (trying to run my life, write a book, things like that).

What I'm suggesting here is a general principle for healthy growth, to be self-observing and self-supporting so you can let a reasonable action be done and invite the reality around you to respond as it will. It's a reasonable action to write to me from your heart on the most precious topic of twin souls and soul relationships, because I have spent lifetimes mapping the depths of those energies to hold the space for human beings to realize their best intentions. You deserve to experience being proud and centered in what you say and do, to know and feel that you did something well, so then you'll be prepared to let the world around you go its own way and see what happens next in response to your solid self-esteem. All of life's events, from the most direct and loving that we want to cherish forever as a springboard to future growth, to the most unloving and challenging that we need to master and leave behind as not worth repeating, can then be richly informative for your total growth process.

Does that make sense? This is the attitude and approach we all need to have in life, to release karma and become free, so the universe can lead us to the most directly supportive places for us, which is where we most belong. So for example, if you decide to indeed send me your emotionally urgent letter, you won't take it personally if I respond quickly or slowly depending on when you catch me in my own process, and you'll be able to feel the soul support that I absolutely and immediately have for you energetically. My soul, just like your own, does amazing things that I just catch glimpses of in the magic synchronicities and sensations of life's infinity.

I get a lot of dreams for example of meeting people who feel new to me, and exchanging some words and symbols before moving back into my own psychic territory. I can see the signs that this person was not just an aspect of myself but someone objective in the outer world, and I may not know who exactly for a long time, if ever. That's the collective unconscious at work, and it has a vast light side as well as that tedious dark side that feeds the nightmares of so many people who are afraid of their own growth. Your energy is your own bubble that always protects and guides you, so you will increasingly operate only on the light side as you cleanse your mind through the lessons of a loving life. Of course I also interact with sides of my own soul (such as Hildegard), but there are solid clues for when I am connecting with someone outside of myself, and that is when I often only know that my spirit was helping someone, and in turn they were helping me. After all, in every true exchange of caring and healing, there is growth on both sides. The best healers know how to receive healing when they give healing, to let the lifeforce flow within healthy limits for everyone, and I am always striving to be both student and teacher of the greater universe.

With this attitude then, I offer below something of a composite form-letter I've written to people who arrive asking for comfort and ideas about their soul twin/mate/flame challenges. I'll probably end up sending this verbatim in future replies along with any specific perceptions I get when I read a letter to me. Having this resource handy now will help me to respond more quickly to everyone, including readers of this blog post who wish to benefit more anonymously and energetically. I felt good from writing this and even better explaining it here now, because it's so much more than just an impersonal form letter to me!

Hope that makes sense, and many blessings to us all on this lovely planet we live together on! Thank you Gaia, God and Goddess cocreating in majestic form!
- (Carl)

Thank you for your email asking for some guidance with your twin soul experience. I apologize for not replying sooner, but I continue to be very busy making my own progress in this and other areas. Human spiritual growth is certainly intense and complex, isn't it!?

Have you read the two main essays I have posted on the topic?


(from HowToMakeHeavenOnEarth.org)

I completely understand and sympathize with the intensity of the twin soul experience, especially from the point of view of the twin who is more interested in making the relationship work. Although the souls of the twins will always work together unconsciously and psychically, very few twin souls in their conscious human personalities will be both able and willing to stay together in a cooperative loving way. This is because of their nature, that twin souls are always connected in values but always holding an opposite balance for how to live those values. So for example when one is in a more feminine relationship oriented focus, the other is in a more masculine career oriented focus. Of course the masculine and feminine energies of creation belong together and work best united in harmony, but It takes great maturity for the inner balance of each person to make possible a human twin soul pair who is in outer balance. And even then, that outer balance could reveal the twin soul pair were made to be great friends and colleagues, not necessarily romantic. There are many kinds of love after all, as I discuss here: http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=559843474056503&set=a.508660389174812.116965.508632602510924&type=1&theater

The twin soul connection is so amazing and inspiring that many people like to assume it means the ultimate romance, but that is just not true and can cause endless suffering if you try to enforce that relationship. What the twin means is the ultimate reminder of our soul love and mission, which each person then has the free will to avoid, follow or corrupt as they choose. One characteristic of twin souls is just that they define each other and become remembered together, but that connection can take many forms. I only know of one good example of a successful twin soul romantic couple, and that was the 19th century poets Robert and Elizabeth Browning (who did not reincarnate as John Lennon and Yoko Ono even though Lennon and Ono thought they were the Brownings, probably because they wanted to be in that energy). Even the most mature twin souls who might be a couple more often choose to be platonic colleagues in a mission, such as the lifelong spiritual teachers Sri Aurobindo and Mirra Alfassa.

Many other twin souls who accomplish great things together will choose differences of age and gender that disqualify them from romantic relationship, such as Jesus and his mother Mary who were twin souls (Mary Magdalene was a twin flame, to be discussed below). John Adams and Thomas Jefferson were twin souls who were vital to founding the United States together, then they became political enemies and only reconnected later in life (they died within hours of each other on July 4, 1826, now isn't that romantic?). Many famous twin souls can't live with each other and can't live without each other, like Liz Taylor and Richard Burton who dramatically created and loved together intermittently. Other famous twin souls spark only hatred and fear for each other's different sides of life, becoming infamous lifelong enemies who drag many others into their personal feud, such as George Bush Sr. and Saddam Hussein, and George Bush Jr. and Osama Bin Laden. Boy, aren't they going to be surprised and embarrassed in the afterlife!

So you see, the twin soul connection does NOT spell ultimate romance at all, and the New Age is doing you a great disservice to push you to think such things. Many many people are destined to experience their twin soul as some kind of huge ultimate wake-up call to remember divine love and grow spiritually, which is especially needed in today's ascending world. This often results in a brief experiment to be together as a couple that ends rather badly with someone running away, even to the point of one person dying just to force the surviving twin to get on with their newly affected life (which will carry the imprinted soul mission of both twins). So if you can always carry with you even some joyful gratitude from having met your twin, and manage to survive the separation with some hope of finding even more meaning and happiness in your life, then you can count yourself lucky, because that was the goal and too many people can't even open up to that possibility!

If you are suffering from romantic longings for your twin soul who has become unavailable in some way, you must look at your own inner balance of masculine and feminine energies. You must become a more complete and whole being in yourself. Remember, even before you entered all of your realities with your twin and became one of a pair, you were a complete image of the creator mother father God, the generative united God and Goddess partnership. You then chose your twin for the energetic support to enter into manifested lifetimes, even when most of those lifetimes would never meet the twin in body and you would only remain psychically connected. Now if you have met your twin in body and felt that original spark of limitless love only to become stuck and unable to create any further with them, then you must dig deeper into your divine origins and choose to create from more sides of yourself, to build your self-relationship which can then connect with everyone and everything with more love.

There is a concept in Theosophy of the Monad which is even closer to the divine All Source than your human Soul, so In effect you have two levels of your soul. There is the outer soul of your human experiences, and this is where you and God began creating yourself with your twin soul as your creation partner. Then there is the inner soul of your wholeness before you ever became human or entered into any realities, and this is the Monad state to which you must return. From this level you can recreate yourself, reinvent yourself, to begin again without depending on your twin's support of you. Your twin will continue to "haunt" you for a while, as deeper memories and feelings are uncovered where you had built up your soul in relation to them. But if you are willing to go forward and discover more of your self, each revisiting of your twin soul connection will result in a beautiful blessing from their spirit to live on and let them go their own way, for the love of both of you. Remember, there doesn't have to be any shame or mistake in twin souls hitting their limits as creation partners - there is no lasting should have, only lingering could have. With God's help, you each simply did your best to start growing with the right individual before you were fully conscious to know what you were doing, and thus free will meant that even after starting from the perfect divine plan you had that potential to grow apart, individually and together, and thus you did. The universe has fundamental unpredictability, called chaoticity, so only the fully realized consciousness can make a guarantee to work with whatever happens to endure with all good intentions manifested sooner or later, in the flexibility of respect for all other life paths under development.

The fully realized consciousness will thus begin your Monad super-consciousness, from which you can become your own best partner even as you seek a replacement for your twin soul. A divinely appropriate replacement for the twin will be someone so parallel to your growth that together you can consciously maintain the decision to go forward together as twin flames, forever dancing in deliberately paced and matching steps for the joys of synergy, that magic of becoming far more than the sum of parts. Your new soul partner will be more whole and right for you than your twin soul ever was, because they will be able to choose you as creation mate with infinitely more commitment and vision than your pre-conscious twin soul could offer you. To find your twin flame, you can in effect enter a period of dating from your soul, as you meet and evaluate twin flame candidates, and this path will take you far beyond your twin into amazing new growth lessons for how much more love there is to discover between you and the entire universe.

This potential to so deeply reinvent the Self for more freedom to manifest the inner soul is rarely hinted at even in the most esoteric literature, but one reference appears to be in the Michael teachings, a collective channeled entity who since the 1970's has been popular for a soul-based personality system that includes seven soul ages and seven archetypal soul function roles. The Michael system's equivalent of the twin soul is called the "essence twin", and in a "grand cycle" our soul can fundamentally reorganize our relationships to other souls in order to explore creation with a new essence twin and other partner types. I can recommend the Michael teachings for comparing the general terminology to your own experiences, but with some caveats including that for some reason even as Michael likes to get very detailed "he" also encourages many people to channel "him" independently, so there is a quality control issue as different Michael sources will disagree over many specifics including individual soul personality charts.

Ultimately, you will know you are succeeding when your twin soul with whom you first thought and felt you could not live without, becomes more and more like the first teen love of your soul's development, with whom you practiced the skills of soul relationship that you went on to master as an adult. You will always treasure your twin soul memories as foundational to your discovery of who you really are, and at the same time you would never dream of going back to them because you've become so much more than they could ever support and sustain. Any desire for a person who isn't right for you, whether your twin soul or some other projection of an ideal, will naturally fade when you really tune into the energy of your needs and see how much more you can be there for yourself, and by extension, someone else could be who is truly matching with your growth and thus able to share your self-partnering experience in a glorious manifestation of both your souls co-creating skillfully in boundless joy and gratitude.

Think about it, watch what happens in your life as you consider these possibilities, and good luck! You can watch my video lecture on how to be more aware of your own feminine and masculine energies here:


Feel free to write me more if that helps you to organize your thoughts, just be sure to read what you write so you can grow from the space and not be dependent on me replying too quickly, which I may not be able to do. If and when you make significant progress in developing beyond your twin, I am certainly interested in hearing what works for you and how things go.

many blessings,
Carl: returnofhildegard/at/gmail/dot-com (spelled out a little to stop spammers)


Unknown said...

Thank you for posting this, Carl. Having experienced the Twin Soul journey first hand, I can say it's one of the most powerful, beautiful, absolutely soul-wrenching, and devastating things a person can go through. I can't believe I even survived it when I think back to the level of pain and ultimate healing I encountered. I would honestly not wish this connection on their worst enemy. With pain comes transformation, but at what price? The longing and the pull during the first year of the separation almost killed me. I had to see a shamanic healer because I felt like my soul was dying. She did a soul retrieval on me, which helped, but I seriously wanted to die, but I would never take my own life. The emotional and soul pain was so intense, I didn't think I could take it. It's been almost two years, and the thought of opening myself up emotionally to somebody makes me sick to my stomach. When I manifested my Twin Soul, I didn't even know what it was. I was just hoping for a soul mate to settle down with. I never wanted what I got. In a sense, I feel ruined by it. I get the whole purpose of it, and I know what it does each twin, but in my opinion, it's more of a curse, less a blessing. Soul mate relationships are challenging enough. From what I've seen online, reading different people's experiences, Twin Soul relationships are impossible. Show me one happy ending where two twins can make it work and co-create. There are none.

Carl J. Schroeder said...

Thank you too for your sharing. So you know how tough it can be, I'm sorry you got so burned. How hard the experience is depends on the free will of the twin soul you're meeting. As human beings their option is to reject us of course, but as the twin soul their rejection can hurt more deeply than they can imagine. And the more we equate them with God and Soul and Love, the more we are injured. I hope you find the path to unhooking yourself from them. Just because they took us deep into our soul doesn't mean they represent the soul's truths or the way things can and will be with someone else. Find those like you who can go as deep as you went without leaving your side, the difference will be worth it. Good luck and love bless!

Unknown said...

Thank you for your thoughtful response, Carl. It's so wonderful to see you posting about your personal experience. The people who have survived and are surviving these intense connections need to get the information out there to help others.

These connections are not regular relationships, and they don't follow the same rules. I knew the intensity of my Twin Soul connection before we even got romantically involved. I felt my soul bond with his from across the room at a party when we were only acquaintances. To try to explain that to somebody, they would think you were insane. Only spiritually open people understand these connections and what they mean.

I stopped discussing this connection with my friends/family a while ago. I sat in silence, because nobody had any clue what I was dealing with. I was only with this person for three months before we had a fight and never spoke again. The people around me had no idea the powerful love I felt, that never seemed to dissipate, no matter how much I tried to forget about him.

I reached out a few times to get him to talk to me, and he refused. Spirit told me that he closed his eyes because he didn't want to see. He had felt too much pain that I had caused him in this lifetime, as well as past lifetimes. He couldn't bear the pain any longer.

The deeper I felt the rejection, the deeper the pain, and ultimately the pain transformed me. It was as if his rejection pushed me further and further into myself so I would ultimately learn to love myself.

Only the people who have and are dealing with these connections know how powerful and life-changing these experiences are.

The Universe has never stopped showing me signs that my Twin and I are connected, whether he chooses to see it or not. He may not recognize the synchronicity/signs, but I definitely do. They're everywhere. I feel like Alice in Wonderland, and he's the elusive White Rabbit.

In the beginning of my journey with him, I questioned whether or not I was crazy for loving him so much, but then I realized my soul gave me no choice. The karma was so intense, that it imprisoned me. I'm currently trying to break the chains. Every day, I get a little closer to breaking through so I can live my life again without feeling bound to him like some kind of karmic prisoner. I'm trying to build a future for myself, but my memories of him keep me stuck in the past.

It reminds me of the last line of The Great Gatsby: "So we beat on, boats against the current, borne ceaselessly in the past."

For people who are hoping to manifest your Twin, think twice and focus on finding a soul mate instead. Much easier.

Carl J. Schroeder said...

More words of such deep experience, thank you! I especially liked your statement: "It was as if his rejection pushed me further and further into myself so I would ultimately learn to love myself." Congratulations on learning to love yourself more!

I question the part where you say he rejected you because you had caused him so much pain previously - perhaps, but more likely you've always loved him deeply as the profoundly spiritual person you are, and it's pain from others that made it hard for him to face his vulnerability with you. At any rate, that's what I found with my twin soul, she had traumas from others that made her need space from me and healing I couldn't give. Sad but true, and she's doing great on her own without me.

Everytime our connection comes up, I process it a little more, for a little more clarity and healing. The fact is that I'm very grateful, she was wonderful for what she offered, which was a chance to help each other awaken and then go on to live separate lives. She never said she wanted to be a lasting couple, and it was my refusal to accept her choice and path that caused me so much pain. She always made it clear that for her own reasons, she needed and wanted to develop her own career and identity apart from me, so we were just intersecting life paths for a while. She said over and over that I needed to be more complete in myself, not rely on her, and learn to do for myself whatever I was counting on from her. Her ending of our relationship forced me to accomplish this and I'm better for it, because she was not the perfect partner for me to develop all the skills I wanted to grow. I was the partner I needed, as well as many other supportive relationships I have opened to since without her.

So in summary, we all need to receive exactly the gifts that people actually bring to us, not what we might have wished for. It will hurt until we do, and this just goes that much deeper for the twin soul effect.

TheStarXVII said...

Dear Carl and other readers,

Finding this blog and thread was an answer to prayer for me last night. My ex, who I can now see with great clarity was my twin soul (though I wasn't aware of this at first), took his life three weeks after I broke up with him, on October 2nd.

It had been one year we were together, and by far the most intense relationship I've ever had. There was the instant recognition/connection- I even completed his name for him when he introduced himself!

Like your twin, Carl, he had experienced a great deal of trauma with many others along his path. He was 16 years older than me and had lived through abuses, estrangement from children, financial/legal entanglements, unemployment, depression and addiction. As you can imagine, these conditions made it very difficult to sustain a stable relationship. We broke up and reunited a couple times before the ultimate ending.

While I'd never felt such a deep and total attraction, such a pure and beautiful bond in my life, I felt forced to part ways-to protect my own health, and give him the space he needed to learn to heal his addiction and sense of dependency on me. When I ended it the last time, little did I know that that would close to door to any physical reconciliation between us in this life time.

I have memories of at least 2-3 past lives of us attempting to be life partners and something coming between us.

I have been dealing with a profound sense of loss, emptiness, grief, guilt and remorse. I've been processing it as best as I can, but I too have felt like part of me is gone. I feel my heart also crossed over. I've had feelings of no longer wanting to continue this life- a strong desire to follow him wherever he went and be in the form he is in.

I'm intrigued to learn that chakras can cease to function/disappear, and then regrow? I'd love to learn more about this. I started smoking after his death. I believe it was meant to suppress whatever was happening with my heart chakra.

I was given the blessing of being able to make contact with him through two gifted medium/shaman friends. I know that our communication, and more importantly, our work together continues, though we're in different forms now.

But I still had unanswered questions and uncertainties haunting me- such as why his presence recently became more distant, and would I ever be able to partner with another here again?

Now that I've read these posts on soulmates/twin souls/twin flames, I have much greater understanding of what's happened. It gives me great comfort to know of others who are also going through such a life-transforming experience- that not many can understand the full significance of.

I know this experience has been a major turning point in my life, forcing me much deeper inside than I've even gone before. It's made me question why I'm still here and what I can do to make my life as meaningful as possible in order to have the strength and will to go on.

In his passing I've grown acutely aware of our ability to communicate with spirit, as well as the profound transformations that so many are going through in this time on Earth. I read somewhere recently that in this life we are experiencing many lives in one. I have often felt I've had at least a few lifetimes compressed into this one. Now is the beginning of yet another.

These posts have given me great peace that we'll always be united (moreso than with anyone else), whether we are in different forms or have different partners along the way. Do you think with twin souls, that as soon as both are on the other side they are one again?

This dialogue has also put hope in my heart that I can still find companionship with another here on this plane, in this life- one that can be in many ways even more satisfying and comforting- without it taking away from what I had with my twin soul.

I can't thank you enough for all of your contributions to this conversation.

love and evolution. :)


Unknown said...

Hi Lauren,

I'm so glad that this blog has helped you. You sound very wise and well on your way to the benefits of having met your twin soul and grown through the experience. It is one of the greatest initiations into divine living on Earth, since it is a fundamental passage back to the Godhead. God created twin souls, and to return to God in consciousness from the twin soul is to return to the God state yourself. You become free to recreate your life going forward again, including meeting a most suitable mate with whom you can plan the twin soul experience. I know because I have met someone compatible now with whom I share many lifetimes, and being no longer the helpless romantic but rather the designer of my own relationships, I can grow forward in more love than my twin soul and I could manifest. So remember, there is always always more hope and healing in life to enjoy. Nothing ever ends for the one who is willing to be eternal in the divine journey of endless love.

best wishes,
Carl Schroeder

ps - sorry for the late reply, been busy with life but always praying for all the people who have found some comfort with this blog and my views on the twin soul topic. More people contact me on this issue than any other, so I clearly have to keep it as a centerpiece of my spiritual teachings and the workshops I will give someday!